Results of the 2009 E-AIR Limerick Contest

Marne Einarson (mke3@cornell.edu)

It's time to announce the results of the 2009 limerick contest! A total of 27 limericks were submitted this year.  And once again, our contributors produced creative, entertaining and sometimes sardonic rhymes about many facets of our profession -- including data requests, assessment and survey response rates.  It wasn't easy but, ultimately, our panel of judges decided upon the following slate of medal winners:

The Gold Medal goes to Jennifer Brown, Director of Institutional Research and Policy Studies at the University of Massachusetts Boston (jennifer.brown@umb.edu), for this limerick:

IR Conversation

 

I think that we might need to speak

Of the data I gave you last week.

The conclusions you’ve drawn

Show the use of some brawn.

You have twisted the facts till they squeak!

Our Silver Medal goes to John Nugent, Senior Research Analyst and Special Assistant to the President at Connecticut College (jdnug@conncoll.edu):

I arrived at my desk full of cheer,

When a data request did appear:

“Just need one stat … or two …

Oh -- for all our peers, too …

And perhaps going back 15 years.”

Our Bronze Medal winner is Amanda Udis-Kessler, Director of Institutional Research and Planning at The Colorado College (audiskessler@coloradocollege.edu):

IR is a much-needed thing.

Our talents help data take wing.

But we're not quite as smashing

When endowments go crashing:

We can't turn information to bling!

And Honorable Mentions go out to:

Gwendolyn Kuhns Black, Associate Director of the Office of Equal Opportunity & Diversity at University of California Irvine (gwen.black@uci.edu) for:

We’re asked to collect data galore.

Countless reports coming out, then more.

It really is easy

To feel a bit queasy

When they’re put up on shelves and ignored. 

Kathy Livingston, Director of Institutional Research and Assistant to the Senior Vice Chancellor at University of Nebraska at Kearney (livingstonke@unk.edu) for:

Budget cuts, assessment too.

Surveys always seem past due.

Ad hoc reports that take some time.

I’m often feeling far behind.

IR’s story, sad but true!

Rana Glasgal, Associate Vice-Provost for Institutional Research and Decision Support at Stanford University (rana@stanford.edu) for:

We don’t know a lot, we admit

So for months we scanned all the “lit”.

We spurned CLA

(It’s much too cliché)

To learning outcomes we do commit!

Debbie Zizzo, Assistant Director of Institutional Research and Reporting at The University of Oklahoma (dzizzo@ou.edu) for:

My stomach is churnin’ and wrenchin’.

I just heard a casual mention –

Not meant to be mean,

Yet vaguely obscene –

“It’s now time to start on retention.”

Viktor Brenner, Institutional Research Coordinator at Waukesha County Technical College (vbrenner@wctc.edu) for:

The Graduate Follow-up Blues

 

Mailed returns are falling.

Response rates are appalling.

Because on a cell

The alumni can tell

Who it is that is calling.

And finally, from an anonymous contributor, the following limerick:

Doc rankings, we all love to tout

But their value we’re starting to doubt.

We all paid to play

But can’t name the day

When the NRC ratings come out.

Congratulations to our winners and thanks to all who submitted limericks. Your creativity and sense of humor are much appreciated! And finally, a very big "thank you" to our panel of judges – Michelle Appel, Bill Hayward and Sylvia Reed.